Chapter Two

Continuing our odyssey, I have to give you a wee bit of the story for your reference. We are not perfect. Those that are can stop reading my blog posts. Anyone left? Anyone out there? OK... going by faith --- someone is still reading this. Although I briefly outline our back story in this short chapter, I will come back to various issues throughout the book to show you how God is in the business of redeeming and restoring. I felt like I was a major project for Him, and you may feel the same way, but don't. He is pretty good at what He does.

Two

From Fear to Faith – the pre-story

How is it that two middle-aged professionals find themselves living like gypsies in a world consumed with avarice?

Would it surprise you that it was not entirely by choice? Sometimes you feel compelled to do something. Sometimes you feel God on it and sometimes you have both the compulsion and the confirmed Word of God.

Without getting into the horrid details of the events, I will summarize for you, although it will sound like a bad country western song by the time I am done.

I was at a low point in my life and despite a good up bringing in a good Christian home, I found myself stepping down from my position of lay-leadership and pastoral duties in our church because I could not shake the feeling of being hypocritical.

How, you ask?

My marriage of eighteen years was falling apart, and within the strict Pentecost of my roots, once divorced your ministry was over.

I recall a talented young singer who used to sing in front of the church. Her angelic voice would raise your spirit and you couldn’t help but have that tear well up in the corner of your eye as she sang. After her divorce however, ministry at the front of the church was off limits.

So, I was conflicted, depressed and suffering from a severe identity crisis, I left off speaking at our Full Gospel church.

Sadly around the same time, my mentor, pastor and friend, David T. was diagnosed with cancer and quickly passed. The shock to our small congregation and his family was intense.

I also ran into financial difficulties and had to claim bankruptcy to survive, merging my client list with that of another firm in town.

Our church did not transition well through the period of seeking another pastor and as a result ended up splitting. With the warning letter I had written to the board about the signs of stormy weather among the leadership, my membership was illegally revoked along with another board member brave enough to speak out against the interim leadership. Leaving out details for brevity’s sake.

So there you have the first part of my sad pages in this book. Bankruptcy, the loss of a close friend, excommunicated, and going through a divorce, things could have been better.

This was the darkest time of my life and the farthest I felt from God.

And yet, the choices I was making and continued to make were not improving my situation. I had a lot to learn; about myself, my heart, my habits and my intimacy with God and others. I was on a journey.

Tracey likewise was on a journey, one that brought her through a childhood of abuse and lack of intimacy with people and certainly with God. She jokingly states that she grew up as a ‘non-committal atheist’ as she had a stepfather who did not believe in God but blamed Him for everything.

The childhood abuse left its scars and as many do she sought acceptance and love through physical intimacy and was disconnected from her heart. After several marriages ended she called out to God in desperation on evening, asking for God to provide a man for her as she was not picking them too well. Within a week we had met.

Now I have really abbreviated our sad stories, because this book is not about our pains of the past. If I took the time to write about these stories in detail to fill in the blanks for you it would take a few more chapters and frankly I think I may loose some of you.

We all have these sad stories, but the unifying truth is the Jesus is the one who takes our sad stories and masterfully does the rewrite we all so badly need.  That’s what this book is about. Our rewrite, from the valley we were in and out the other side. There is no point in reviewing how we got into the valley, suffice to say we were in one. Can you relate? Have choices you have made in life landed you in some dark valley, leaving you feeling isolated and scared? As you read and as I recall our story, you too may discovery what we did – that He as always there with us, even when we did not feel that He was.

My goodness He is gracious and loving. So caring over the details of our lives. Let me illustrate with another story.